The Truth is​.​.​. I Don't Know

by David Waingarten

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02:20
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03:52
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03:18
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03:44
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04:19
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04:34

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released September 16, 2016

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about

David Waingarten Portland, Oregon

David plays music to keep himself company. He digs records that sound like they were recorded in bedrooms and basements, and is inspired by the raw intimacy and honesty of Paul Simon, Elliot Smith, Blaze Foley and Gillian Welch. His songs are about healing, living in your car, longing to be found, gratitude, riding subways, finding silence, and stumbling along your path. ... more

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Track Name: Continents
tell me where you wanna meet
test the ice beneath our feet
pull the string
and start the tear
would you meet me at the bottom
of the a-train stairs

like a step before the ground
i am straining to be found
like the one
to which i pray
you said yes, but
you said it from so far away

instead of the wait too long
give me a night or two
i want to be seen
without a continent between
Track Name: Cars Are Boxes
what would you think of
if i said to clear your mind?
could you purge yourself of time
and go deep into the well
where the clock strikes none
empty parking lots
in jerusalem

what would you burn
if you could set it all on fire?
touch a match to the wire
digging in the thing that you have become
looking in the mirror
for the perfect one

measuring only complicates my mind
want to be your lover
for a long, long time
but i'm only holding
today

and it's moment to moment
and then all of a sudden
you can't bear your cross
so you hand it to a friend
who pushes out the nails
in your open hands
leaves you holding on
to the promised land

[chorus]

take no refuge in what you know
oh little candle, let it go
you can stop and become
one with the flame
and there's no ash
and there's no dust
when you just open up your trust
you can burn
until only light remains

and i'm looking at the photographs
in my photo album
and imagining
comfort they don't bring
so far in the feeling that i can't step back
living like the laughter in a photograph
Track Name: Satisfied
have you ever been
in your mind satisfied?

have you ever know a thought
to calm you down inside?

have you ever known anything
you thought was true?

if you held it to the light
could you see straight through?

have you ever been anyplace
you felt was home?

if I called you from the porch
would you keep me on the phone?
Track Name: Middle America
i can be you
and you can be me
if you give me the authority

running into
fields of green
i see you in a silent dream

cause i am wide awake to the gift
and i am lying down in the way

the girl that i love
is from ohio
she's from ohio
i see her in a soft dress
see her bending time
see her through the laundry lines

so step into my head
light a match and
that's all

i'm breaking even
feeling grace somewhere
in middle america

i have seen god breezing by
underneath a toll booth sky
oil drum is rusting in
my place of origin
i want to release myself
into the day

cause i am wide awake to the gift
and i am lying down in the way

so step into my head
light a fire, i said
i'm willing to break the law
i'm breaking even
feeling grace somewhere
in middle america
Track Name: Light Switch
pulling on the picture
to fit you in the frame
where i'm alone
when you first got on my tongue
i didn't know
i was looking for so long
until the light burned out
didn't know the sun was out
in the light i'd rather be walking now
take me where i'm going

letting go is giving thanks
weakness is protecting strengths
my offer is for breaking or for burning
but when you light the match for me
and show me something i can't see
the lock begins to laugh into its turning

struggling to make some sense
blacking out the evidence
i push back on what i feel expanding
but when i need a place to stand
you offer me an open hand
and teach me
heaven's in the landing
Track Name: St. Helens
one hand’s on my heart
and the other starts to load a gun
when you're out of breath
helps to know
what you're running from
valuing the world
then hunting for a bargain
practicing my aim
and praying for the target

so take it from one
who has suffered at needless hands
the world's worthy of your praise
more than your demands
chewing on my teeth
and waiting for my turn again
lost in looking out
for a way to see back in

so give yourself to me
soft like gravity
caught between ideas of what
you brought me here to do
is it me or is it you?

take this soul
straight to the river
show me the place
and i’ll dive in
take this voice
reference and echo
bring it back where
you begin

cause i'm almost free
of taking the freeway
no roads left to where i live
held like breath
torn from the runway
show me what i have to give
when i’m lost
light the way by
showing me the death that you’re offering
treating love like
the money that i'm counting
won't ever hold
this holy mountain
Track Name: From Where
i can't believe
what i want to receive
growing in faith day by day
breaking the bones
of all that i have known
to push myself out of the way

drop all control
and you swallow me whole
feeling my skin in the light
as i lay down
the things i've done so long
carefully one at a time

so i hang and say
let go me today
from where i am
not where i'm going

when i get to you
through these knots and glue
can you untie
and wash me over?

and so i make space
for this replacement
letting the light hit my fear
for i have faith
that as i empty
pieces of you will appear
Track Name: I have a god
I have a god who
helps me see
and when I ask him
he walks on me
like a bridge that goes away
soon as I want him to stay

I have a god who
soothes my mind
and she tells me
to be more kind
to myself this very day
give myself the love I crave

and in between my
mind and me
I have forgotten
where to be
until I stop and quiet down
and I feel my god around

and I feel like I can hear for the first time
and I feel like I am here for the first time

and I have seen the
water rise
all the way up
in my eyes
and I suffer when I can
till I reach up my right hand
feel the ceiling suddenly
a presence on all sides of me

and I feel like I can cry for the first time
and I feel like I can laugh for the first time
Track Name: Between Souls
standing on a river stone
just above the roaring foam
i don't know where
this river runs
or how or when
it's path begun

like a candle
born to burn
devoured in its own nature
you and i
are points of light
born to give each other sight

you and i will have to pass
through these bodies into grass
she'll lose me and i'll lose her
this river is inevitable

ice on winter windowsills
holding hands in hospitals
seeing your hand
change in mine
between our souls
we've strung a line

cause time has all the time it takes
our skin will slack
our bones will break
whether grassy field or concrete street
we'll hold up our children's feet

what the mind denies
the body knows
leaning in
to letting go
through changing space and
changing time
between these souls
we've strung a line
Track Name: New Road
been a long way wandering
to this room i've found
counting subway stops
back and forth to puget sound
pushing every pore open
till i bleed frontier
been everywhere to go
except for here

there's an old, dark room
looking for a door
there's a bright eyed soldier
hungry for more war
would you sit a little closer
let me share your light?
shine it into my outline

to the new road
that i'm walking on
it's a new road
that i'm being led on
it's a new road
that i'm traveling on

run away, away to the future
volume up, headphones on
give me love
give me a mirror
give me what turns me on
photo posted, photo caption
adding to my self portrait
hungry for the world's reaction
comment on my silhouette

now you take away the sirens
and you call my bluff
and you tell me that this moment
has to be enough
and you burn a path through me
leading into you
so i know that i'm enough too

it's a new road
that i'm walking on
it's a new road
that i'm being led on
it's a new road
that i'm traveling on
Track Name: In the Blue Light
when my hands are trying to
hold on to the river
they can’t hold
the candle of truth
i am broken
and i’m running for cover
would you help me
to uncover you?

and i ran to an aching angel
i said angel, what should i do?
she said i know of
a few ways around
but it’s better to take the way through

in the blue light
in the blue light
there is still a way into you
in the blue light
all my treasons will lead me
to truth
Track Name: Clearing
wind against me
clear within me
this is where my address ends
stop delivering

buying liars
trade desires
collecting and passing go
this account is closed

wind moves freely
clear within me
living from what feels like truth
don't need any proof

always enough
when done in love
this is what work means to me
not economies